O, for a thousand tongues…
So this evening I was out walking Leif and Marley over to the park through the shortcut-by-the-baseball-diamonds-that-is-also-sort-of-a-parking-lot. You know the one. Anyway, I am CLEARLY walking with my big dog with large ears and bright turquoise stroller housing the tender babe in a very visible spot in the sort-of-a-parking-lot when a man in a SUV (known by Click ‘n Clack as “Suburban Uhtack Vehicle…) makes a vigorous K turn right in front of us and keeps backing up.
I, with some vestiges of mommy hormones still coursing through my veins, am indignant. I’m a New Yorker now. It’s okay, nay, it is good to yell your mind at someone who’s just not paying attention in one of the world’s busiest locations. So I take a deep breath and let it fly:
“hey!” (insert a high-pitched, shrill, very female voice)
(point emphatically to the stroller) “there’s a baby!!!”
Not exactly the most intimidating or even cathartic ejaculation. I kind of surprised myself at the thinnish whinny I produced when my very child was faced with mortal danger (not to mention our dog…). But the LOOK I gave him, boy I tell ya. Well, that must not have been very forceful either because he responded merely with a “Sorry, lady!” Kind of exasperated and condescending-like, as if I were overreacting.
I was able to save a bit of face by emitting a swift huff-and-eye-roll (you know the one) at a couple who had witnessed the incident and were as appalled as I, pretending (very convincingly, I might add…) that I was an impotent whiny girl, instead of the fierce lioness that, inside, we all know I am. I’ll be sure to clear my throat first next time…
Nobody K-turns in front of me—NOBODY!!
